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November, 13th 2009

Oh, tristesse, both England and Chelsea are in the crapper

– Liz Mair

Oh dear.  This is so sad.  Really.  England has a friendly against Brazil tomorrow (quick side note: Go Brazil!) and look what's happened. Frank Lampard has torn a muscle in his left thigh, and John Terry has injured his ankle.  And they are two of England's more invaluable players.  And, as luck would have it, two of Chelsea's, to boot.

Look, I don't really wish ill on Lampard and Terry.  I actually kind of like them, even though there are two fairly good reasons not to (or should I say two of the less crappy reasons to dislike them out of a series of incredibly crappy reasons to hate footballers that football fans, including me, typically cite).

But with Arsenal in second place in the Premiership and just five points behind Chelsea, I have to say these could prove to be, um, helpful injuries.  The only real problem is that of course when England loses tomorrow, we will all have to listen to a barrage of commentary about how England would have won (and won everything and been crowned the world's most awesome football team ever, by God himself RIGHT THEN AND THERE), if only it were not for Lampard and Terry being out.  Which of course is crap.  England fans consistently talk about how their team is on a par with [insert name of genuinely very good football team here] and how this year is going to be 1966 all over again (something I've been hearing roughly every two years since I was a small child), and so on and so forth, but the fact of the matter is, England just ain't Brazil.  Tomorrow's inevitable result will demonstrate that, but these injuries will provide a nice crutch for self-delusional England fans until the next go around when, well, almost certainly, England will fail to deliver once again.

And a good justification for Chelsea's fortunes waning, if indeed they do.  At the end of the day, as much as it pains me, unlike England, Chelsea are a genuinely hot, talented, skilled, football team that should kick everyone\'s butt all over the board-- but the Lampard and Terry injuries could well affect that, negatively, giving Arsenal an opening that we probably otherwise wouldn't get, and probably don't deserve.  For now, I'll stick to hoping we can in fact capitalize on that and wait for what will inevitably come tomorrow night. [intro]

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