February, 8th 2010

A letter to Illinois

– Liz Mair

Hey there, Illinois.  It's me, Liz.  I know, I've never really visited you (though your Chicago-O'Hare airport has some cool dinosaur stuff in it). I'm not a Bulls, Bears, White Sox or Cubs fan.  My best connection to you is that my Dad went to an art school on your turf a very long time ago. 

So maybe it's not my business to comment on your politics, but you know what, I'm going to.  Because while the rest of the country is kind of amused by the fact that in addition to electing ethically-challenged crooked Governors, your Democratic Party also nominated a guy who allegedly digs holding knives to prostitutes' throats, a lot of us are equally astounded that you could potentially go one step further and go ahead and elect to the US Senate that Alexi Giannoulias dude.

Alexi, as we all know, is your new Democratic nominee who will be running against Mark Kirk.  Unlike Mark Kirk, we all know, Alexi has some problems.  Like his mob connections to one "Jaws" Giorango, to whom Alexi's bank lent money, for example.  Those of us who have been paying attention remember that Chicago Tribune piece from April 27, 2006, that cites Giannoulias saying "he once discussed Giorango's criminal past with him."  Now, of course, Alexi says this: “If I knew now what I knew then, we probably wouldn’t have approved those loans.”  Alexi wants to make this a non-issue, kind of like how Blagojevich wanted to make his alleged efforts to auction off Obama's Senate seat a non-issue, and kind of like how William Jefferson wants you to think that keeping a bunch of cash in your freezer is, like, super-normal.

It's not, though.  No matter how much Alexi doth protest, the fact of the matter is that this guy has ethical problems up the wazoo.  My bet is, if he makes it to the US Senate, he'll give Blago a good run for his money (no pun intended) in the "ethically-challenged" stakes.

So, please, do yourself a favor and just say "no" to this dude.  You used to be known as the Land of Lincoln.  There's really no need to forcefully re-brand as the Land of Lowlifes. 

Love and kisses,

Liz [intro]


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